Death Cake: Grandmother and a Recipe

Grandmother's living room circa 1955 and circa 2016

"I had a casserole ready for dinner and just decided to go ahead and take it over there. When I got to the house, there were no other cars there so I thought for sure, this time I had beat her to it." said Mrs. Cindy to me one Sunday morning before church started. "And when I walked in the kitchen, there was her Death Cake! Already there! He just died last night!" and she laughed. She wasn't laughing at the family who had just lost a loved one. No, she was laughing at the seeming impossible task of beating her friend, my Grandmother, Ernestine, to a grieving family's home with food.

Grandmother.

That's actually what we all had to call her. In her thick Southern US accent she'd say, "I'll not have any of y'all be embarrassed by what you call me. I was SO embarrassed to say 'Big Mama' in front of my friends when I was younger." I never did tell her that my friends actually thought "Grandmother" was a bit odd and so her plan to save me from embarrassment didn't really come off like she had hoped.

2012 Nearly all the Great-Grands. (2 of mine were not yet born)

 But back to the Death Cake.

It's a simple recipe. One Grandmother would mix up in batches, bake and freeze. Then pop one out of the freezer and ice it whenever she needed to take a food item somewhere like a shower, church potluck, or most famously, to the home of a grieving family in our community.

It's how the Death Cake got it's name.

Like lightning that scrumptious yellow cake would show up on your doorstep in her hands. She was so consistent in this that somewhere along the line the cake got a moniker it couldn't shake. She'd make like she wanted us to stop calling it that, but I think she thought it was funny. Her act of being dedicated to those around her. Loving and coming alongside in the saddest of moments. Faithfully.

Family on her 88th Birthday. She died a few days before her 89th.

As I write this I'm confounded and proud all at once. The woman did not shy away from a grief-stricken soul. She wasn't scared. This woman who literally lived in the same small town her entire 89 years because she didn't like to travel ('cept for that one time my Granddaddy talked her into going to Hawaii) didn't blink when it came to deathbeds. And for that I'm amazed and love her all the more.

So when my sister was with her on Grandmother's own deathbed, it didn't surprise me to hear that she was ready to go. Unafraid. After a coughing fit she looked up at my sister and said, "I just wanna fly away!" She was ready to meet her Lord.

Ready.

Sitting on the edge of her lifetime, looking out in hope, sure that relief was coming.

Granted, yes, she was a frail, elderly woman. But when I think about the condition of her soul, it had only grown stronger through her almost 9 decades. So many many days she put her feet in front of the other and walked through joy, and laughter and pain and loss while constantly turning to her Bible to hear from her Friend and King. So much life lived. So much proof to my watching eyes that the grandest of lives are the ones lived with hope that does not fade. Hope makes a difference and she was thankful for it.

February 2016

And I am so thankful for her. For raising my dad to be the incredible man he is. For having the kind of home that was appealing to my teenaged mom when she went for dinner while my parents were dating. My mom has told me at one point she had to ask herself if she was attracted to my dad for him or for his family. I want my family to have a dinner table like that. I want to live so faithfully that people do not hesitate to associate me with the God I claim to love. His presence evident in my life. I could go on and on (my oldest son Isaac just came in and found me crying. After I explained and told him about how Grandmother's funeral was so full that not everyone could fit inside the church and how I wanted to be like her in how much she loved people and loved Jesus...he told me his own story about a Lego invention he had built and took out to show her last year when we were in Florida and how she loved it...and now I'm REALLY crying...)

 

With Isaac, 2012

Instead, I'll share with you her Death Cake recipe. It's not a family secret, but it is a family treasure, and it's the kind that's best when shared.  (Sorry, international-developing-country-dwelling friends... it calls for Cool Whip, plus other canned items. I have plans to take a cooler with me on my next trip to Kuala Lumpur or Singapore and get a couple containers. I'll share some Death Cake if you come stay with me!)

Recipe in Grandmother's hand. Not super neat but so familiar all the same. One Christmas I, Sharon, got a lazer tag game and my cousin Shawn got some Care Bear Roller skates. She started adding our middle names to her Christmas presents after that.

My sister and cousins nearly done frosting a (doubled) Death Cake shortly after her death last month

Pineapple Cake, Affectionately known As Death Cake

4 Eggs
1/2 Cup Crisco Oil (Vegetable Oil)
1 can mandarin oranges
1 box of Duncan Hines yellow butter cake mix (probably any yellow cake mix would work)

Mix together, pour into 2 greased cake pans, bake @ 350F/180C for 25 minutes (3 cake pans if you double the recipe)

Frosting
1 Can crushed pineapples
Mix in 2 packs of vanilla instant pudding.
Mix in 1, 8oz tub of Cool Whip

Because Elizabeth is in America and needs good Yogurt

...but this can be for you too!

...and also for my Mother-in-law. Even though she's already made her own homemade yogurt. She tried it when she visited back in December and waited as long as she could for my promised blogpost about it before venturing out and doing it herself. But still. It's for her too. See Mom! I'm finally posting it!

So my friend Elizabeth.

We went to highschool together, her being a couple grades ahead of me. But her and her sisters and me and my sisters all knew each other and had good times. Those Wilson girls can be counted on for much laughter, I tell ya!

Elizabeth's path has led her and her hubby and their baby girl to live and minister in the Czech Republic. 

There were several years where we lost touch, but leaving your home country has ways of bringing people back together!

She emails about Oreos and rare-cereal finds and I reply back about the complete lack of Graham Crackers in Malaysia. (No, allrecipes.com... Digestive Biscuits are NOT a suitable substitute for the grahams. Never have been, never will be.)

Can I just say I LOVE having international friends? (how else can you stay for free when you travel?!)

Prague is now ridiculously high on my travel list and it's all because of Elizabeth.  It has a castle! And hot chocolate you eat with a spoon!

Its these friends that totally get how you can love love LOVE your home away from home...because they love theirs. And as much as I lament not having certain things here (Oh for a bowl of Lucky Charms!) there are actually things in America that you can't get that are found in other places.

Shocking, huh?

Elizabeth is in America right now.  She said before she left Prague that one thing she would miss was the thick, fatty, awesome yogurt in the Czech Republic. I have no clue if this will compare, but it'll make a nice close 2nd if it doesn't.

So. My dear friend. As you enjoy time with the grandparents and miss the Czech Republic all the same, here is a yogurt recipe that I HOPE will do until you get back home.

***Y'all this is not your store-bought sugar-laden, stuff. I offer this recipe as a chance to maybe cut out the potato chips at lunch and add a side of yogurt instead. Probably the same amount of fat...but GOOD fat, not fake fat. Fake fat has got to be bad. We eat this nearly every day. Its a great way to help fight off stomach bugs! ***
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Homemade Crockpot Yogurt


Ingredients:
Milk - however much you want. Whole milk works best. In these pictures I used 3 liters...which yields about 2 liters of yogurt.
Yogurt Starter with Live Cultures (I usually just get a Plain, individual sized yogurt from the cold section of the grocery store. Just make sure it has live cultures in it) I've observed that when my starter tastes mild (not tart) then the yogurt does too. When it has more of a tangy/tart taste, the yogurt does too.

A pot to heat it in
A thermometer (a meat thermometer works fine)
Something to store it in once it's finished

1. Heat the milk to 180 degrees Fahrenheit.
As long as you heat however much milk you're using to 180 degrees, you're good. I do this in a crockpot because I don't have to stand over it on the stovetop. But stovetop works too. Hi or Low setting on the crockpot both work.  For 3 liters of milk on High, it usually takes 2 hours for mine.

2. Let milk cool down to between 110-115 degrees.
I usually just take the pot out and let it sit on the counter. Maybe a fan on it. Sometimes with lid on, sometimes with lid off. Sometimes stirring to help it along. Some people soak their bowl in an ice bath in the sink to get it down faster. Usually for me it takes about an hour for 3 liters to cool down. I set the timer to remind me to check.

3. Scoop out 2 cups or so of the milk in a separate bowl and add about 2 tablespoons of yogurt starter. Mix well.
2 Tablespoons is what I've found to be a good amount for 3 liters of milk. If you're making less, then less is required. But I've also used up to 1/2 cup. The point of this step is to mix the yogurt starter in well so that it distributes evenly and thoroughly through the milk. Too much and I've heard it "crowds" the milk with too many live cultures, but too little starter and there's not enough cultures to get in there and do the work of spreading and making it all yogurt.

4. Pour into pot and mix well.

5. Cover pot and insulate.
People do this step in different ways but they are all intrinsically the same. Some people go ahead and pour the milk+starter into separate containers and insulate. Some leave it in the crockpot but then put hotwater bags or heating pads around it.  I have found simply sticking it back in the heater of the crockpot (unplugged!) holds the heat just fine. I insulate mine with 2 bath towels. If its particularly cold where you are, you might want to put the whole thing, towels and all, in your oven (that is off!). My kitchen is year-round warm. Equator being what it is.

6. Let it sit for 12 hours.
See how it's nighttime in my picture? That's because I usually let mine sit overnight. And the whole 12 hours thing is a round-about number. But usually that amount is good. Though occasionally when I've checked it in the morning, I think its still too runny, so I wrap it back up and let it sit for a few more hours.
7. Open it up and voila! Yogurt!
 Don't forget to save some of this batch for the next! Then you don't have to buy starter next time.

You can store it and eat it just like it is, or if you are like me and Elizabeth and like your yogurt extra thick, follow these steps.

8. Strain your yogurt.
I don't have cheese cloth but apparently it works well. I have some extra fabric with bears and honeypots cut to fit. I layer it over a colander and a mixing bowl... and then pour the yogurt in it.

If you have room, stick it in the fridge. A couple times I haven't had the space and the countertop worked just fine. I've left it draining for anywhere from 2 hours to 8hours. The results are about the same.
Here's what mine looks like with whey drained out. Also a picture of the yellow whey (and a link to a recipe for pizza crust using leftover whey!) Otherwise you can toss it or pour it out in your garden. 

9. Put it in your container!
I include these pictures to let you see that this step gets easier with practice. I always have a spatula handy to scrape down the remaining yogurt off the fabric and into the container.  Most of the time it just sorta peels off clean and plops down into the container. 

***If your yogurt looks TOO thick (heaven forbid!) then just add some of the whey back in and mix to your desired consistency***

10. Suggested serving.
Below is one way, but we also sometimes flavor it with vanilla and/or honey...add any fruit, oatmeal, or granola or cereal and its total yum!

My kids come home asking for it this way...

Pineapple chunks (yeah, from a can! they'll live, I made the yogurt for crying out loud!)
Yogurt
Brown Sugar topping

Soooo good! Enjoy!

Saturday done right...

It's rainy season here. It rains more than usual from October thru March-ish. It's like pretend Winter and I don't complain a bit about it because it makes my holiday cooking (and all other cooking for those 6 months) a bit more bearable in my un-air-conditioned kitchen. This is a big deal, y'all.

Today we had sunshine and rain.  So we swam and stayed inside.

So if your "winter" is cooling things off there like it is here, here's a story of warmer times in younger days to warm you up if needed and a recipe to do the same (even if yours is only pretend winter too)...

My "we-were-on-a-break-but-got-engaged-2-months-later" boyfriend, my best friend Cara, Eric, Justin, Garnet, Katrin, Melissa, and I were in Miami for Spring Break. We were doing some community outreach type work, using our Spring Break for a good cause. We had one evening to kill and we were soooo close to the Keys. Y'all Florida just rocks when it comes to beaches and awesomeness, goodness I miss it. Time was against us and our bellies were beckoning us to stop and eat. So we only got as far as Key Largo down US1 before stopping for dinner. Hole in the wall, wish I had a picture of it, sand for the parking lot, mermaid mural on the wall.  It was everything we were hoping to find.  She, chipped and faded by the sun and salty air, welcomed us like the Sirens of legend to partake in the yummy-ness that was certain inside her cave of a restaurant. Once we walked in, I only remember two things. 1) We are hilarious and 2) the bisque.

They only had a few bowls left. I'm not even sure who didn't get some at the table but I sure as heck wasn't one of them. You know that moment- "I'm sure they'll like what they get. There's lots of other stuff on the menu." You console yourself and glow a bit from the small bit of luck- or maybe that was the tan from the week's work? No matter. I vaguely remember laughing. With people as funny as our friends, it's hard to remember anything but....the bisque.

So here I give you, for your consideration on your Saturday whether cold or warm, snowy, rainy, or sunny...

Seafood Bisque

1 pound of seafood- shrimp, fish filets, clams, cockels, or even what I've come to use...the bag of "dory filet" in the frozen food department. This recipe is great for that! The saltier the better.
3 cups of "seafood stock" (from boiling the seafood of your choice)
1 cup diced potatoes
1 cup shredded carrots
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped onions
3 cloves garlic pressed or minced
1 Tbsp chopped parsley (or 1 tsp of dried)
1 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
Salt & Pepper (I'm always way heavy handed on the salt) 
______________
8oz cream cheese (cut up or scooped out in chunks)
2 cups milk
2 Tbsp flour
2 Tbsp melted butter
______________

Boil your seafood in at least 3 cups or more of water. Set aside saving at least 3 cups seafood stock.
In a large pot, add 3 cups seafood stock, potatoes, carrots, celery, onions, garlic, parsley, Worcestershire Sauce, and salt & pepper. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to simmer and cook covered for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Next stir in chunks of cream cheese until melted then add milk.
In a small separate bowl, blend together flour and melted butter then add to the bisque. Stir a bit then add seafood. (for my white fish filets I just separate them so they're in chunks in the pot). Cook and stir until mixture thickens and bubbles. Serves 6-8 (or a family with 2 adults and 2 preschoolers and a baby for 2 nights).

PS- add this easy peasy garlic bread recipe to your meal and you may start telling your family that the kitchen's all out.
It is not the same salty, inhale-able goodness found with our mermaid in Key Largo, but what is? WHAT IS?! This'll fix you and your Saturday up right, guaranteed.