Another Day in Germany...

Another Throwback Thursday!

I guess if we have enough long layovers here, I will be able to speak collectively about my "week" in Germany.
Day 1, December 2010. Day 2, July 2015.

We went back to Mainz because we missed the Gutenberg Museum the last time around and because we also wanted to see what it looks like not covered in snow and Christmas decor.

We chose a 12 hour layover on purpose in order to make the most of the trek around the globe. Even though extra time makes the trip longer, it actually can make it better as well. Our first flight was overnight from Orlando to Frankfurt. We spent all day outside the airport, stretching our legs, seeing some sites, and staying awake. By the time the next long haul came to take us to Asia, we were ready for the flight and the kids slept great on the plane. Even if you can't afford a long stopover vacation, see if you can move flight times around so airport fever won't over take you. I would MUCH rather spend 12 hours shuffling in and out of an airport and onto a train, even with 5 little people in tow, than say, spending 4 hours in an airport trying to keep them entertained. It's not always possible, but it's always worth a try!

Because remember: It only counts if you leave the airport.

It's still lovely. (see this same square at Christmastime)

And the museum with it's ridiculously old and gorgeous Gutenberg bibles on display (along with other old books...like St. Augustine's work on the trinity!) had my history geek-o-meter in the red zone.

Plus some gelato and a cool fountain to splash in on a warm summer day after a long plane ride, is tops as far as traveling with little people goes.

Maybe next time it will be Spring or Fall! 

In a flash

May 

June

July

August

September

October

A short recap and through careful examination of the photos, one would gather that,
1. We finalized Ira's adoption
2. We moved back to Malaysia
3. School has started back
4. Life keeps going

We've had an Au Pair, Stephanie (from Canada via Georgia), living with us since August and I STILL haven't found the time to update the blog. Apparently adding ONE child to the mix is enough to take away all of the extra time and more. But I'm a story teller and I couldn't stay away from this place forever. I've got some good ones you haven't heard and there's ones we haven't gotten to yet. So keep coming back, mkay? And I will too. (Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye... wow...that's way more morbid when you type it out than when we used to say it on the playground. Still though, I'm back.)

Moving: The Stuff

Moving to an expatriate is like....

Hmmm...

What IS it like?

* Swimming to a fish *
Hmmm. No. I think fish probably like to swim. I do not like to move.

* Pulling a splinter out of an infected thumb *
Nope. Though it is a pain and there is some little relief afterward. But sometimes the scars from having to say goodbye to friends and places and things...well, they just stick with you bigger than that.

* a shell to a hermit crab *
That's not right either, but crawling in a shell and avoiding the process of packing sounds pretty good right about now. Or maybe even dreaming that moving could be way easier if they could just pick the whole house up instead of bringing out the boxes.

*Changing a poopy diaper to a Mom*
Maybe its just because I've done it already this morning...but I think I'm getting closer.  Changing a poopy diaper is no fun, but when it's done and over, the people involved are happier because of the lack of stink and diaper rash avoidance.  With moving when the packing is done and the stink of the last box is actually packed up, there is indeed, relief.  But like a kid dropping a deuce in his dipe, its just a matter of weeks or months before you have to deal with boxes again on the other end.

I'm starting to see metaphors aren't my strong suit.

We are in the middle of packing, y'all.

And by, "We are in the middle of packing." I mean that in 11 days the movers are coming to pack up our house and I have yet to do anything.

Moving in. 2011. Nearly 3 years to the day.

This is partly due to a lifetime of being a skilled procrastinator. Do understand that in my head I have EVERYTHING organized. Its all under control. No fear.

The thing is, because its already organized in my head, I'm really not that anxious about it. I'm excited about this summer and seeing family and doing some traveling. I'm just dragging my heels about up-ending our house. Life is crazy enough at the end of a school year and the kids are anticipating leaving in their own ways, sometimes, understandably, with some anxiety.

So maybe I haven't yanked everything off the shelves and walls yet because of that reason?

Moving in. 2011. So many memories made in this space since then!

 If the producers of Hoarders wanted to help cure people of their hoardom, they could ship them off to foreign countries, then make them move every 1 or 2 or 3 years and limit them to a 20ft container. They'd have no choice.

 It could be like a reunion show every season, "The Smith Family is moving again! Did they return to their hoarding ways? Can they get their belongings into the crate in time?"

Getting to downsize and purge crap that has been accumulated over the last 3 years is cathartic and healthy.

The moving company is a really good one and our stuff will be in responsible hands.

This type of organizing  (even though it feels like its UNorganizing things at moments its really not) is right up my alley.  Like decorating, but in reverse, but still in the same sort of category as decorating. And I love that.

So my only guess as to the delay in getting started is that pulling the stuff down is hard simply because it is the very thing that brings front-and-center the reality that we have to say goodbye. (even though we plan to come back! just not to THIS particular house) In a month's time, life as we know it today will not be continuing like it is today. No way to stop it.

Befores and Afters. Making a house a home.

But I'd like to not think about that goodbye part. And so we return to the procrastinating thing again.

Even though we like our house, our neighborhood, the relative developed country we live in...its the people we'll have to say goodbye to once the stuff is packed up that makes it the hardest.

But we've learned as well in the packing-of-house we've done over the years that saying goodbye IS important. Loss is loss. And not ignoring it, but embracing it and owning it and doing it well, is important to saying goodbye the best way possible.  Even, strangely enough, if you have to say goodbye to some inanimate objects in the process.

Today is a bit of a school holiday. The perfect time to really start sorting.  And, importantly....To let the kids do part of it. 

As much as I think materialism is one of the great evils of the world, at the same time, the emotions of parting with "stuff" and packing it away, throwing out the non-essentials (essential in this sense is totally in the first world definition), deciding what's "important" enough to keep is a huge part of the process. There is character building in that decision making- for the grown-ups and the little people- and helping us to confront our reality head-on and with strength.

While we go through the toy buckets and the bookshelves, we'll talk about what's to come.
We'll talk about what we loved that we're leaving behind.
Remember and prepare all at the same time.
Be sad maybe at points, but then be happy in the hopes and plans to come.

You HAVE to remember what's to come. This is key.

And simply acknowledge that even matchbox cars and a paint color might need a heartfelt goodbye for whatever reason.  Then rest in how good God has been to us in this house and all we have seen him do. That with every decision to leave something behind, we will keep coming back to the fact that we never have to pack him up, say goodbye to him, or leave him behind.  That he goes before us and is with us. Near.

And though tomorrow isn't promised, packing up our stuff necessitates looking forward.  We are so blessed to be excited about what's before us. Time with family and friends we've been denied time with. Places we're ready to see and explore. Memories we'll make in new places.

{sigh}

Ok. The suitcases haven't even seen the light of day and here I am going way too philosophical.  There's no approaching the sock drawer in this condition. (like we wear socks here)

So here I'll stop about all our stuff.

We are moving. It is happening.

And the stuff is starting to get packed in 3, 2, 1...

TCKs

TCK- (n) Acronym for "Third Culture Kid." A child who lives most of his or her developmental years outside of his or her "passport country." A TCK's culture is a blend of their parents' culture and that of the culture in their host country. It is neither fully the first nor the second, but rather a third culture, blended from both.

I will be using this term more often around here, so I thought I'd introduce it to you in case you don't know it.

Believe you me! This isn't some made-up word so that I can make my sometimes socially awkward kids seem special. 

This term describes my children well, along with many of their friends.

Here's the deal, y'all. We'll be landing in America in just a couple of months.  Our minds are beginning to prepare for that transition.

For real though, a good portion of my thoughts have to do with things like sales racks at GAP, Old Navy, and Target. And the taco trailer. Also Cracker Barrel and that there are Reece's peanut butter cups on hand at every convenience store nationwide. Boggles. The. Mind.

However!  Many many of my mental wanderings have centered on my children entering into full-on US culture.  "Who are they and what will it be like for them?" I wonder.

While Ivy will be 9 months old the first time she sets foot in her passport country and won't look a bit out of place, or probably even act like it (what a sweet baby she is!) Isaac, at 6 years old, and to some extent, Isaiah at nearly 5, are bound to seem strange at times to some of our friends and family. They've now spent long enough living in their Third culture, that it's beginning to gel.

Isaac was 3 before he realized he didn't have black hair like all the other kids in his preschool.  Isaiah loves BBQ sauce because we eat it with our chicken wings. They both think chicken-rice is just what you get to eat when you go to the mall.  Isaac says, "Libury" "Full-stop" and "Tidy" like his British teacher, but "really" and "million" come out like his Chinese-Malaysian classmates' pronunciation. Ivy's favorite people at church are Filipinas (and she is theirs, I'd wager.) Going to the doctor in a neighboring country doesn't seem weird to them nor does eating sweet potato casserole and Philly Cheesesteakchicken sandwiches.

There are elements of both worlds in their everydays. Sure, they will probably call money "Ringgit" when we get to America, but there's an ever-present element of being an outsider here too:

Scene- Birthday party for a local friend at KFC. We are the only non-Malaysians in attendance. Clown does a magic show and calls each child up for a trick. It's Isaac's turn.
Clown: "Hello boy. What is your name?"
Isaac: "Isaac."
Clown: "Hello, Isaac. Where are you from?"
Isaac: "Malaysia."
Clown: (laughing and confused) "No, I mean, where are you from?"
Isaac: (confused because he thought he answered correctly, says nothing)
Local Friends Speaking up for Isaac: "He's from here! He was born in Malaysia!"
Clown: (still confused, carries on with magic trick anyway)

That was the first time I witnessed him encountering his "TCK-ness."

So if it happens to him here, I'm curious to see what it will be like from the American side. 

Since my youngin's look American, they probably won't get the question too often, but answering the simple question, "Where are you from?" is one of the more tricky answers TCK's find difficult to come up with.  Yes, he LOOKS American. His accent is American (well, mostly) his passport and Social Security number are unmistakeably American, but is he "from" there?

I try not to let my patriotism get in the way of me marveling at this happening to our kids.  I thank God for the sojourning life he's laid out before them.  Others, very long ago, have lived like my children are living and it was due to the providence of God and his great love and plan... Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph... all sojourners in lands that weren't their own.  I trust that the same God who loved those 4 mentioned above, also loves and cares for my children...no matter how succinctly they can answer where they are from.

 

So yes, sometimes I think about their TCK lives in super serious, deeply meaningful terms. 

But, most of the time I forget that they don't know what I know about the USA.
Most of the time I forget that they don't feel what I feel about the USA.

But then they'll say or do something that brings it front and center.

For example:

Scene- All of our children have a backpack for the specific use of being their travel backpacks and carry-ons for trips.  On each one, I've sewn flag patches from every country they've been to. Isaac was holding his backpack, looking at the various patches the other day.

Isaac: "Ooo, look Zayah, here's the Malaysia flag."
Isaiah: "Yeaaahh."
Isaac: "And here's USA. I've been there."
Isaiah: "Me too."
Isaac: "And here's Thailand."

etc etc

"I've been there." is his what comes out about the flag of the culture and birthplace of his parents and one that weighs heavily on his life whether he realizes it or not. But in his young mind, he has as many memories of it as he does of Bali and Singapore.  He's not dismissing it. He's not elevating other places over it. It's just his experience. And the experience of tons of kids like him.

Granted, he knows his grandparents live in Florida and that Disney World is there.  All of our kids regularly watch our home videos and several of them are from us being in the US.  They are excited about going this summer, make no mistake. They know loving hearts and arms are there waiting for them. That's what makes them excited.

I know my fellow overseas friends can vouch for this. Its quite something to watch it unfold before your eyes! To hear things come out of their mouths that other folks who have lived abroad have said they would say.

But still. I marvel at it all the same, though I was told it would happen. So I thought all of you should know too. I'd read the Wikipedia link. It's quite helpful.

If you happen to encounter a TCK, (mine or someone else's) just know that they might not be able to answer where they come from. But my guess is that where ever you are, where ever you are from, if you get the chance to make a memory with them- or a dozen memories!- they still won't be able to answer where they come from, but at least they will know that where they have been, they've been loved. 

Too Easy...

Reading to her babies while her quilt was finishing in the dryer. Girls are SO much different than boys!

Folks it has happened.
Immanuelle Marie is now a certified "Big Girl Bed" sleeper.

Like her big brothers before her, she has a younger sibling on the way and that means movin' on up to the Eastside whether she likes it or not. Or, mind you, whether I like it or not. (she's way tiny to be a big girl) Isaac and Isaiah were briefly both in cribs, but that was just because we had no clue Isaiah was going to arrive so quickly. As soon as it was possible, Isaac was promoted to big boy, Isaiah followed about 20 months later, and now Birdie-bye has her badge as well.

Our life sometimes seems so full of unsettledness, moving, changing, transitions, and the like. We wouldn't trade our lives for anything, but always "saying goodbye" to everything and everyone can wear on you.

So, with big-beds we have done our best to try and make this one small aspect of their young lives as easy as possible on us and them. We decided not to do toddler beds, but to go straight from crib to bed...
#1- because even though our crib can change into a toddler bed, there has always been another baby needing the crib in the crib form.
#2- because we didn't want to buy anymore furniture than necessary. (an extra crib or a toddler bed)
#3- because saying "bye" to something- even a bed- can be difficult sometimes. So we just decided to only make them say goodbye to their crib. Instead of a crib AND then to a toddler bed too.

More "sameness" for them for longer, less furniture buying and having to help them transition through change for us. Win-win!

Now that we're through with the explanations that you care not for... shall we move on to photos of our sweet Ellie Bellie in her big girl bed?

We shall.

Easiest

Transition

Ever.

HomeBird was so excited about her bed. Everyone "helped" as we assembled the mucho cheapo frame from IKEA. We found her reading to her babies that she had lined up all by herself like she'd done it a thousand times. At bedtime she showed no apprehension and seemed to need none of the brief explanation we gave her.

For this milestone Anthony and I have made sure we start on a night when we are both mentally prepared to sit outside the door and "train" said child to stay in bed. Isaac took 2 nights, Isaiah somewhere around the same. Not long, maybe a few tears, repeating the instructions, but overall not a big deal for us or them.

But Ellie Bird? The baby who speaks in 5 word sentences? The in-tune toddler who tells me when she has poo-poo in her diaper? That easy child?  She never even tried to get out. 

Doesn't surprise me.

Maybe she loved it too much to want to get out? Maybe she just knows the rules somehow already? I dunno, but the only "training" we had to do was one time catching her standing up on the bed and telling her to lay down.

Naps? You ask? Hasn't missed a beat!

One adorable note was that she seemed to think that she was supposed to lay on her back on her pillow, but after 45 minutes the first night, we went in and she still wasn't asleep.  She was perfectly still, quiet, and under her blanket, but awake.  So we told her to lay on her belly and after that she was a goner.

AND...to round out this ridiculously easy transition, she has slept about 30 minutes longer than usual the last two mornings!

Love. Her.

So not only has she seemed to tackle this milestone effortlessly, Mama now gets those snuggles with her after she's asleep, as logic would tell you, cribs and snuggles don't exactly mesh well.

Parenting is most definitely not always this easy. So we are super grateful this one has gone so well!

Sweet dreams baby girl!