In a flash

May 

June

July

August

September

October

A short recap and through careful examination of the photos, one would gather that,
1. We finalized Ira's adoption
2. We moved back to Malaysia
3. School has started back
4. Life keeps going

We've had an Au Pair, Stephanie (from Canada via Georgia), living with us since August and I STILL haven't found the time to update the blog. Apparently adding ONE child to the mix is enough to take away all of the extra time and more. But I'm a story teller and I couldn't stay away from this place forever. I've got some good ones you haven't heard and there's ones we haven't gotten to yet. So keep coming back, mkay? And I will too. (Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye... wow...that's way more morbid when you type it out than when we used to say it on the playground. Still though, I'm back.)

Moving: The Stuff

Moving to an expatriate is like....

Hmmm...

What IS it like?

* Swimming to a fish *
Hmmm. No. I think fish probably like to swim. I do not like to move.

* Pulling a splinter out of an infected thumb *
Nope. Though it is a pain and there is some little relief afterward. But sometimes the scars from having to say goodbye to friends and places and things...well, they just stick with you bigger than that.

* a shell to a hermit crab *
That's not right either, but crawling in a shell and avoiding the process of packing sounds pretty good right about now. Or maybe even dreaming that moving could be way easier if they could just pick the whole house up instead of bringing out the boxes.

*Changing a poopy diaper to a Mom*
Maybe its just because I've done it already this morning...but I think I'm getting closer.  Changing a poopy diaper is no fun, but when it's done and over, the people involved are happier because of the lack of stink and diaper rash avoidance.  With moving when the packing is done and the stink of the last box is actually packed up, there is indeed, relief.  But like a kid dropping a deuce in his dipe, its just a matter of weeks or months before you have to deal with boxes again on the other end.

I'm starting to see metaphors aren't my strong suit.

We are in the middle of packing, y'all.

And by, "We are in the middle of packing." I mean that in 11 days the movers are coming to pack up our house and I have yet to do anything.

Moving in. 2011. Nearly 3 years to the day.

This is partly due to a lifetime of being a skilled procrastinator. Do understand that in my head I have EVERYTHING organized. Its all under control. No fear.

The thing is, because its already organized in my head, I'm really not that anxious about it. I'm excited about this summer and seeing family and doing some traveling. I'm just dragging my heels about up-ending our house. Life is crazy enough at the end of a school year and the kids are anticipating leaving in their own ways, sometimes, understandably, with some anxiety.

So maybe I haven't yanked everything off the shelves and walls yet because of that reason?

Moving in. 2011. So many memories made in this space since then!

 If the producers of Hoarders wanted to help cure people of their hoardom, they could ship them off to foreign countries, then make them move every 1 or 2 or 3 years and limit them to a 20ft container. They'd have no choice.

 It could be like a reunion show every season, "The Smith Family is moving again! Did they return to their hoarding ways? Can they get their belongings into the crate in time?"

Getting to downsize and purge crap that has been accumulated over the last 3 years is cathartic and healthy.

The moving company is a really good one and our stuff will be in responsible hands.

This type of organizing  (even though it feels like its UNorganizing things at moments its really not) is right up my alley.  Like decorating, but in reverse, but still in the same sort of category as decorating. And I love that.

So my only guess as to the delay in getting started is that pulling the stuff down is hard simply because it is the very thing that brings front-and-center the reality that we have to say goodbye. (even though we plan to come back! just not to THIS particular house) In a month's time, life as we know it today will not be continuing like it is today. No way to stop it.

Befores and Afters. Making a house a home.

But I'd like to not think about that goodbye part. And so we return to the procrastinating thing again.

Even though we like our house, our neighborhood, the relative developed country we live in...its the people we'll have to say goodbye to once the stuff is packed up that makes it the hardest.

But we've learned as well in the packing-of-house we've done over the years that saying goodbye IS important. Loss is loss. And not ignoring it, but embracing it and owning it and doing it well, is important to saying goodbye the best way possible.  Even, strangely enough, if you have to say goodbye to some inanimate objects in the process.

Today is a bit of a school holiday. The perfect time to really start sorting.  And, importantly....To let the kids do part of it. 

As much as I think materialism is one of the great evils of the world, at the same time, the emotions of parting with "stuff" and packing it away, throwing out the non-essentials (essential in this sense is totally in the first world definition), deciding what's "important" enough to keep is a huge part of the process. There is character building in that decision making- for the grown-ups and the little people- and helping us to confront our reality head-on and with strength.

While we go through the toy buckets and the bookshelves, we'll talk about what's to come.
We'll talk about what we loved that we're leaving behind.
Remember and prepare all at the same time.
Be sad maybe at points, but then be happy in the hopes and plans to come.

You HAVE to remember what's to come. This is key.

And simply acknowledge that even matchbox cars and a paint color might need a heartfelt goodbye for whatever reason.  Then rest in how good God has been to us in this house and all we have seen him do. That with every decision to leave something behind, we will keep coming back to the fact that we never have to pack him up, say goodbye to him, or leave him behind.  That he goes before us and is with us. Near.

And though tomorrow isn't promised, packing up our stuff necessitates looking forward.  We are so blessed to be excited about what's before us. Time with family and friends we've been denied time with. Places we're ready to see and explore. Memories we'll make in new places.

{sigh}

Ok. The suitcases haven't even seen the light of day and here I am going way too philosophical.  There's no approaching the sock drawer in this condition. (like we wear socks here)

So here I'll stop about all our stuff.

We are moving. It is happening.

And the stuff is starting to get packed in 3, 2, 1...

TCKs

TCK- (n) Acronym for "Third Culture Kid." A child who lives most of his or her developmental years outside of his or her "passport country." A TCK's culture is a blend of their parents' culture and that of the culture in their host country. It is neither fully the first nor the second, but rather a third culture, blended from both.

I will be using this term more often around here, so I thought I'd introduce it to you in case you don't know it.

Believe you me! This isn't some made-up word so that I can make my sometimes socially awkward kids seem special. 

This term describes my children well, along with many of their friends.

Here's the deal, y'all. We'll be landing in America in just a couple of months.  Our minds are beginning to prepare for that transition.

For real though, a good portion of my thoughts have to do with things like sales racks at GAP, Old Navy, and Target. And the taco trailer. Also Cracker Barrel and that there are Reece's peanut butter cups on hand at every convenience store nationwide. Boggles. The. Mind.

However!  Many many of my mental wanderings have centered on my children entering into full-on US culture.  "Who are they and what will it be like for them?" I wonder.

While Ivy will be 9 months old the first time she sets foot in her passport country and won't look a bit out of place, or probably even act like it (what a sweet baby she is!) Isaac, at 6 years old, and to some extent, Isaiah at nearly 5, are bound to seem strange at times to some of our friends and family. They've now spent long enough living in their Third culture, that it's beginning to gel.

Isaac was 3 before he realized he didn't have black hair like all the other kids in his preschool.  Isaiah loves BBQ sauce because we eat it with our chicken wings. They both think chicken-rice is just what you get to eat when you go to the mall.  Isaac says, "Libury" "Full-stop" and "Tidy" like his British teacher, but "really" and "million" come out like his Chinese-Malaysian classmates' pronunciation. Ivy's favorite people at church are Filipinas (and she is theirs, I'd wager.) Going to the doctor in a neighboring country doesn't seem weird to them nor does eating sweet potato casserole and Philly Cheesesteakchicken sandwiches.

There are elements of both worlds in their everydays. Sure, they will probably call money "Ringgit" when we get to America, but there's an ever-present element of being an outsider here too:

Scene- Birthday party for a local friend at KFC. We are the only non-Malaysians in attendance. Clown does a magic show and calls each child up for a trick. It's Isaac's turn.
Clown: "Hello boy. What is your name?"
Isaac: "Isaac."
Clown: "Hello, Isaac. Where are you from?"
Isaac: "Malaysia."
Clown: (laughing and confused) "No, I mean, where are you from?"
Isaac: (confused because he thought he answered correctly, says nothing)
Local Friends Speaking up for Isaac: "He's from here! He was born in Malaysia!"
Clown: (still confused, carries on with magic trick anyway)

That was the first time I witnessed him encountering his "TCK-ness."

So if it happens to him here, I'm curious to see what it will be like from the American side. 

Since my youngin's look American, they probably won't get the question too often, but answering the simple question, "Where are you from?" is one of the more tricky answers TCK's find difficult to come up with.  Yes, he LOOKS American. His accent is American (well, mostly) his passport and Social Security number are unmistakeably American, but is he "from" there?

I try not to let my patriotism get in the way of me marveling at this happening to our kids.  I thank God for the sojourning life he's laid out before them.  Others, very long ago, have lived like my children are living and it was due to the providence of God and his great love and plan... Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph... all sojourners in lands that weren't their own.  I trust that the same God who loved those 4 mentioned above, also loves and cares for my children...no matter how succinctly they can answer where they are from.

 

So yes, sometimes I think about their TCK lives in super serious, deeply meaningful terms. 

But, most of the time I forget that they don't know what I know about the USA.
Most of the time I forget that they don't feel what I feel about the USA.

But then they'll say or do something that brings it front and center.

For example:

Scene- All of our children have a backpack for the specific use of being their travel backpacks and carry-ons for trips.  On each one, I've sewn flag patches from every country they've been to. Isaac was holding his backpack, looking at the various patches the other day.

Isaac: "Ooo, look Zayah, here's the Malaysia flag."
Isaiah: "Yeaaahh."
Isaac: "And here's USA. I've been there."
Isaiah: "Me too."
Isaac: "And here's Thailand."

etc etc

"I've been there." is his what comes out about the flag of the culture and birthplace of his parents and one that weighs heavily on his life whether he realizes it or not. But in his young mind, he has as many memories of it as he does of Bali and Singapore.  He's not dismissing it. He's not elevating other places over it. It's just his experience. And the experience of tons of kids like him.

Granted, he knows his grandparents live in Florida and that Disney World is there.  All of our kids regularly watch our home videos and several of them are from us being in the US.  They are excited about going this summer, make no mistake. They know loving hearts and arms are there waiting for them. That's what makes them excited.

I know my fellow overseas friends can vouch for this. Its quite something to watch it unfold before your eyes! To hear things come out of their mouths that other folks who have lived abroad have said they would say.

But still. I marvel at it all the same, though I was told it would happen. So I thought all of you should know too. I'd read the Wikipedia link. It's quite helpful.

If you happen to encounter a TCK, (mine or someone else's) just know that they might not be able to answer where they come from. But my guess is that where ever you are, where ever you are from, if you get the chance to make a memory with them- or a dozen memories!- they still won't be able to answer where they come from, but at least they will know that where they have been, they've been loved. 

Fall Break: Cameron Highlands, Malaysia

 

It's hot here.

Oh. I've mentioned that before?

The boys had off from school for fall break so we headed up with some friends to where the air is sweet and fall-like.

We wore long sleeves, ate strawberries and drank hot chocolate, hot tea, and hot coffee. (except for me, coffee = no go Joe. Too bitter. Sue me.) When you're there, it's nearly impossible not to completely buy into the feeling that it IS, in fact, October. I've even been in April before and totally thought it was October.

The Cameron Highlands.

Hats off to you British Army. Before air conditioners existed to make the equator somewhat bearable, those Brits carved out a road through the rainforest mountains to create this little reprieve from the heat.

Brilliant.

It's about 3 hours from Kuala Lumpur. 1.5 hours TO the mountains, then an hour plus UP the mountains.

{tap tap tap...is this thing on?} Special announcement. Bring the Dramamine. More on that later.

Yes. That is a long sleeve pajama shirt under the Spidey-T. 

It's happened every time we've come up here. That night-before while packing and it dons on me, AGAIN, that my children only have shorts, tshirts, and flip-flops.

"Just how high is too high?"  I think to myself holding up the 3T pants I inevitably have to pack for my 5 year old.  I may not be posting photos of the highwaters, but I sure enough made them wear them. Ankles out, yo!

Among the delightfully tacky strawberry-themed roadside "attractions" in the highlands, there are tons of produce and flower stands. We embrace it all. It's a little bit of heaven I tell ya.

Especially when the hubs surprised me with these gems.

Succulents!
It's a good man who knows when to go for roses and when to go bigger.

My knowledge of these and my interest in them is totally and completely 100% Pinterest-induced. 
True story.


Seeing as how the Highlands is in the middle of a rainforest, it'd be silly not to at least make a stop by the mossy forest on Gunung Brinchang (Brinchang Mountain).

...even if your kids wear flip flops to do so. (Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye...I swear we packed sports shoes for the boys, they just refused to wear them)

Our friends' son. I include this because 1. it's a great photo of an adorable kid and B. it's proof that we're not the only ones who send our kids hiking in non-hiking clothes. Prep School or North Face Ad... I can't decide what this photo wants to be. (except a pic of a cute kid. See point #1)

This place never fails to look like a movie set.  If New Zealand is all booked-up for the next Tolkien movie, I know where they can find a really moody forest. Its practically a character itself.

Then there's the crown jewel of the Highlands.

Tea.

 Which speaking of Tea and British things and Pinterest....

Ahhh, history jokes. The fact that we bought our first kettle only after moving to a country in the former British Commonwealth, makes it even funnier.

Ok, ok. Real pics only from here.

Where were we?
Ah, yes. Americans in tea plantations. The BOH Tea Plantation  is a great little place to spend the morning. Not only do you walk through the tea to get to it, they ACTUALLY process the tea right there and you can walk through the center and see it in action. Then grab a cake and, you guessed it, a hot cup of tea, and have a fantastic tea time on the covered area overlooking the plantation (above Birdie's shoulder in the pic below).

One of the things we love about our life overseas is the people who become "family" when ours is so far away. We are blessed indeed to have friends like these out here.

Also, I love it when kids get outside. You know things are going well when kids start picking up sticks. Sure, it'll probably result in injury at some point, but that's ok too.

I'm fairly sure our friendship is strong enough to endure me posting these basketball pics...goodness I hope so. We relax hard AND play hard in the Highlands.

 I mentioned Dramamine earlier.

About that.

Y'all, Zayah has an easy gag reflex.
Did we remember the motion sickness meds the last time we went to the Highlands? No.
Did we remember them on that boat ride in Bali last summer? No. 

Consequently we have a pretty honed skill of avoiding getting puke on ourselves and cleaning it up off various surfaces without attracting too much attention.

Don't count me out y'all. This time, I thought I was Mrs. Motherhood.  I remembered going up AND going down...even remembered to make him take it over an hour before hitting the mountain road.

Back story:
About a third of the way up the mountain road there is a huge waterfall. Parts of it are concreted over and there are roadside stalls selling handmade items to tourists. But its huge and we take a family photo there every trip. On the way up we didn't stop. So we did on the way down. Just as we park the car, Birdie pukes.

Oh stank. I know. So sad.
Lemme top that sadness with a parenting fail: we didn't give her dramamine because the dosage said not to give to children under 2 years of age. Have you seen this post?
The one where we celebrated our HomeBird's SECOND birthday?
It's one of those memories you laugh about later and tell to your parent-friends as an hilarious anecdote.... in years to come that story will finish with "....but she WAS 2! We BOTH totally forgot!"

Just after cleaning up Immanuelle's breakfast off the carseat and changing her clothes, a group of women surrounded the kids and wanted pictures. It happens a lot actually. And the younger and blonder the foreign child, the more likely they'll be asked to take a picture. Birdie was NOT in the mood. But Isaiah was! HA!

Photo-op with locals done, we took the traditional photo, and then some, by the waterfall.

I'd like to title this family memory, "THE SUN HURTS MY EYEEEEESSSS!"

Isaac couldn't not get in the water.  Right on, son! The part right after where he sat down and got his pants all wet we could have done without, but the enthusiasm to get in and live it up is applaud-able regardless!

And that was our fall break.
If you made it to the end of this post tell us what you are loving about Autumn this year? Ya know, whether you actually have an Autumn or just do something to pretend you do, like us.  Leave us a comment!